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As parents, we all engage in battles with our children. Some of these battles are mini-battles that happen occasionally, and others are full blown battles which occur consistently.

I am currently engaged in a nightly battle with Sayle regarding bedtime and I’m losing terribly. Losing to the point I want to poke my eyeballs out. I’m not sure if this is a phase he is going through or if this is how it is going to be until I come up with a solution, but either way Sayle is being extremely difficult lately and I need some mommy assistance. 

I would like for him to go down between 7:30 and 8:00, but he wants to go down around 9:30-sometimes even 10. These late nights are not okay with me.

We have a nightly routine that goes very well until we hit the dreaded bedtime, then Sayle resorts to screaming bloody murder. As soon as we start walking back to his room the screams of protest start; he kicks, whines, etc. We place him down in the crib where he immediately twists his body and jumps up, holding tightly to the crib rail while throwing his head back in a howl that declares I AM NOT GOING TO BED!

 I have tried to allow him time to cry it out, but he winds himself up into such a tizzy, I don’t feel comfortable with letting it continue. The tizzy isn’t just cries of protest, he seriously cries so hard he starts coughing and choking-like a very distressed cry.  Then I try rocking him, just in case he will settle down with me, but that seldom works and we start the cycle all over again.

I get Sayle up early every morning regardless of what time he went to sleep the night before so he isn’t catching up on his sleep in the AM. He usually naps about an hour every afternoon at daycare. We have tried everything we can think of to get him to go to sleep. We have quiet time before Sayle goes to bed, which consists of bath time and then reading several books. I try to keep his activity level limited with quiet, slow paced activities. He starts rubbing his eyes and you can tell the child is tired, but he will simply not surrender to sleep.

The only thing that has worked was letting Sayle fall asleep while watching Elmo. I do not want him to get accustomed to falling asleep in front of the television in the living room (and I’m not a fan of TV anyways), so that is not a solution. We have tried starting the bedtime routine earlier. As I stated above, we have tried letting him cry it out. We have tried letting him play with toys in his crib. None of this works!

Sayle used to go to sleep easily so I’m not sure why all of a sudden he thinks he can stay up all night?!  I want him in a routine, but I apparently can’t get it right. 

Has your child gone through this? Do you have any suggestions?

Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O.  I swear that song, amongst others, is always somewhere in the back of my head.  I constantly sing songs with Sayle, especially when I’m trying to distract him from getting into something.  We sing the ABC song, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Baby Shark, but Sayle’s favorite in definitely Old MacDonald.  His eyes light up as he starts bopping his head to the E-I-E-I-Os, which only encourages me to sing fifty more versus of the song to get him to do it again.

The other night I was singing to him and he replied with I-OOOOO!!  I was stunned!  Sayle actually DOES listen when I talk…or sing rather!

What songs do you sing to your child?  What is your child’s favorite song?

When someone said “postpartum depression”, I immediately had the image of Kirstie Alley in Look Who’s Talking crying about the FTD commercial in my head.  I was hopeful that I wasn’t going to be a teary-eyed-snot-flowing-everywhere kind of mommy after having Sayle.  While I was very aware of the classic signs of postpartum, I was not aware of this pesky little state called the baby blues-until they hit me.

I had Sayle on a Wednesday and got home with him on Friday afternoon.  That’s when anxiety kicked in.  I couldn’t sit still and my mind raced constantly.

I didn’t have any newborn clothes for Sayle.  I was a horrible mother.  My house wasn’t clean enough.  The dogs needed grooming.  I’m not changing his diaper right.  Was Sayle getting enough to eat?  What if I mess something up?

I had my final melt-down on day one when Sayle had spit-up come from his nose and spread across his face during a nap; that scared me to death.  I sobbed uncontrollably because I thought there was something seriously wrong with him.

A few days later, Grandma showed up from England (thank God) to help us.  The first morning she was here, she took Sayle upstairs with her to allow me a long shower and some free time.  I couldn’t handle free time; the free time allowed me too much time for my thoughts to race-so I folded laundry to keep my mind occupied.  When I was finished I went upstairs with them.  As soon as she said hi, I burst into tears.  There was nothing wrong with me, why was I crying? I had no reason to cry, I was the happiest I had ever been!  She just smiled at me, understanding exactly what I was going through.

I had the baby blues, which is quite common shortly after you give birth.  Baby blues usually occur within days of giving birth and can last for up to 21 days. The physical symptoms can include lack of sleep and energy, food craving or loss of appetite, and feeling tired even after sleeping.  The mental symptoms include anxiety and excessive worry, confusion, nervousness, sadness, feeling overwhelmed, and lack of confidence.  Behavioral reactions include crying, over sensitivity, irritability, and hyperactivity.

I had most of these symptoms for approximately a week before I was able to establish a routine.

I definitely felt out of sorts while experiencing the baby blues, but I couldn’t help it.  None of us can.  Having a baby is overwhelming in itself without having to deal with the hormonal changes that are uncontrollable, thank you Mother Nature.  I am thankful I was surrounded by people who love me and by my veteran mothers who completely understood why I was acting like a cry baby.

If you experience these types of symptoms more than four weeks, you may be experiencing postpartum, which is also very common.  Please tell your doctor how you are feeling when you go for your check up!

How did you feel after having your child?  Did you experience any baby blue or postpartum?  How did you cope?

The situations that warrant Sayle’s temper tantrums and the intensity of the tantrums depend on several variables; how bad he wanted to play with whatever object was removed from his hands/grasp, how fun the activity was that he was removed from, and the extent that he disagrees with a decision made for him.  He has a tantrum if he isn’t ready to go to sleep as we start walking to his room at night.  His tantrums range from mini to full blown if I don’t let him play in the water dish (I’m sure you guys caught the small tantrum in the video).  But nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will throw him into a tantrum faster than bringing him in the house if he has been playing outside and isn’t ready to come in.

Please see the enclosed video of one of Sayle’s tantrums.  This particular tantrum ranks about a 7 out of 10 on the tantrum scale.  Please keep in mind that we were playing outside for easily an hour and a half before we brought him in eat and take a bath.

What situations throw your toddler into a tantrum?

I love temper tantrums, they just give me the warm fuzzies.  There is nothing more that I love than Sayle announcing to everyone within a five mile radius that I am the meanest mother in the world and I have ruined his little life by refusing to allow him to do something.  I am the meanest mom on the planet, I know this.

I also love the looks that I get from other people who witness the tantrum.  Some shoot me the sympathy look, which is a warm smile of knowing and understanding what it feels like to be in my shoes.  I smile back to these people; for they too have experienced how difficult it is to chase a toddler down who is making a bee-line to a busy parking lot in high heels and a skirt.

Others shoot me the how-could-you-make-your-child-cry look.  They usually get manipulated by Sayle’s tearful blue eyes and academy award winning sobs and say “aww,” then scowl at me, the meanie.  Apparently, allowing Sayle to run into a busy parking lot is appropriate and being the meanie that I am for discouraging such behavior, I’m hindering his development.  I smile at those people too, while I imagine what kind of parents they are.

In all seriousness, I welcome temper tantrums and the unnecessary dramatics because it means I’m doing my job right.  There are rules in life; number one being you can’t always get what you want.  At 17-months, its okay to throw a temper tantrum as not getting what you want is a hard lesson to learn, especially when you want to play in the toilet.  I’m not going to allow Sayle to turn into a teenage brat who thinks he can have everything he wants.  Realistically, it would be easier for me to just allow Sayle to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it.  I could sit on my butt all day and watch him develop into a disrespectful child with a sense of entitlement who expects immediate gratification.  Tragically, he was born to a mean, proactive, and involved parent who starts teaching rules early!

I care enough about Sayle to take time out of my busy schedule to be mean and to tell him no.  I don’t let him run around in unsafe areas, I don’t let him climb on dangerous things, and I don’t let him play with sharp objects because I want to be mean by keeping him safe.  It’s cool when he screams so loud that glass shatters around us, because he is screaming at the top of his lungs that MY MOM IS KEEPING ME SAFE!

Finally, these little toddler tantrums are only getting me ready for the “I hate you” and “you are ruining my life” that I’m sure I will hear as he gets older and I won’t let him go to a frat party when he’s 15.  I know I used that as a last resort while I was growing up, especially when I wasn’t getting my way, so I will be prepared.

So parents, do not be afraid of temper tantrums, celebrate them!  Temper tantrums are just reassurance from your child that you’re doing things correctly!  And remember, you would much rather be picking your toddler up from the floor they have so eloquently thrown themselves upon in a screaming fit now, rather than having drama like that when they are 13 years old.  Then people will REALLY be looking at you!

My house literally looks like Toys R Us.  When you walk in, you are immediately in what used to be my living room, but is now Sayle-central.  Toys. Are. Everywhere! You would think with as many toys as he has, he wouldn’t find appliances, plants, and electronics as amusing as he does, but apparently a dishwasher has nothing on Elmo.  The following random objects/appliances/household items are Sayle’s favorites.  Read about Sayle’s friend Isaac’s favorite non-toys here.

Household Plants-There is nothing like plucking leaves or stems from a plant and then shoving them in your mouth!  Not only are plants tasty, Sayle also enjoys digging in the potted dirt, especially when it’s spread across my hardwood floors.  If you have wood chips in your pot for decoration, it is simply an added bonus!  Fake plants or real plants, if it’s green, has dirt, and is inside, it’s a playground!

Bookshelves -are for climbing.  Books must be removed for climbing purposes.

The Staircase-is there to catch hurled books, toys, and other various items within reach.  If Sayle is upstairs in the man-room, there will be flying toys.  If the toy clears the baby gate it is a GOAL and if mommy or daddy almost breaks their neck while going down the strairs on the item, points are doubled.

The Toilet-If you haven’t heard by now, Sayle prefers to play in slightly nasty water.  The dogs’ water bowl is his favorite as it is the most accessible, but make no mistake, he is not above taking a few splashes in the toilet if given the chance.  He is quite crafty with the toilet, even learning how to open and close the lid.

The Treadmill-Don’t panic, I have removed all the chords so Sayle doesn’t have an accident.  I believe he thinks the treadmill is his stage, kind of like I thought the hearth in front of my fireplace growing up was my stage.  He usually does a little dance while standing on it

Remote Controls/Electronics-We have the downstairs electronics hooked up in a cabinet, but if the cabinet door is left open-look out!  Sayle has reprogrammed two of our televisions with just a touch of ten buttons!  Since our upstairs entertainment center isn’t in a cabinet, we have taken the England flag and draped it across the DVD player, Playstation, Stereo, etc. to divert little fingers from reprogramming our electronics.  I thought this was a better alternative than putting a baby-gate around the electronics.  Sayle also loves hiding remote controls so we are constantly on the hunt for one.  I hope this eventually motivates my husband to have just ONE remote for everything, rather than having thirty remotes that I can’t figure out how to work.

Dishwasher-If I’m loading/unloading the dishes, Sayle comes running.  He likes to climb on the door like it’s a draw bridge and then he takes a seat by my silverware.  I have visions of him snapping the door off its hinges or grabbing a knife, hence my new mommy skill of loading/unloading the dishwasher in less than 60 seconds.

Trash-This is not a child problem, this is an parental problem.  We are a bit slack in taking out the trash in my house.  We will let the trash pile almost to the top of the can before removing it.  When trash sits at the top, it becomes very easy for little hands to reach in and grab trash out of the trashcan.  Empty milk jugs, wrappers, boxes-whatever!  If it’s in the trash, it must be a good time!

What household items does your child try to make in to toys?