Mommy Goes Off The Working Deep End! Working Mom Woes (Part 2)
(To read part 1, click here) You gotta to caught up!!
This year has been stressful at work. Working in the mental health field, we’ve had several audits and this month we had to go through our three year national accreditation, which is a big deal. My caseload has been EXTREMELY high maintenance. When I refer to these “phone calls” I’m balancing while doing everything else, I’m dealing with behaviors that are so extreme, I couldn’t even make them up. I de-escalate irate teenagers while looking at Buzz Lightyear books, cooking dinner, and playing with Sayle on the floor. Talk about multi-tasking! One evening I had to have a conversation with one of my teens going through serious drug withdrawal while Sayle was screaming “Momma, cookie!” in the background and another time I had I actually had to put one of my crisis situations on hold as Sayle had managed to dig in his stinky diaper and get the stink all over his shirt. Good times.
Yep, I jumped right off
Oh yes, and did I mention that I was so stressed that my clock work 28 day cycle went to a 20 day cycle? That has NEVER happened before. (Sorry, TMI, but ladies, you understand.)
Just before the surveyors came to our company, I worked two weekends in the office, stayed until midnight most nights during the week, and worked every night during the long 4th of July weekend to get everything in order. Sayle had strep throat, blew a tube out of his ear, had to go to the ENT, caught a stomach virus, and gave it to me-which kept me in bed for 48 hours because when I catch that virus I am one sick chick. The doctor’s appointments and my illness kept me from working on what I needed to do for three days, although I was answering my phone between hurling my guts up. Oh, and our dog has a cancerous tumor which started bleeding (and who has since passed, read here to see how doggie heaven went over with my two year old.) It was really one thing after another at home and it didn’t STOP! I even had to pick Sayle up from school early as a water pipe busted and the school didn’t have running water, so he had to come back to work with me one day (ever tried to work with a two year old in the office?) , and my at-work children decided to take turns with their antics, and I had to get everything ready for the surveyor.
Ever felt so overwhelmed that you couldn’t even make a to-do list because it would take too long? Yeah, I went off the deep end after seven months of build up and my poor husband didn’t even know what to do with me. Why? Because moms keep it together, moms always have a plan, and working moms DON’T get stressed. It’s simply not allowed. If we do get stressed, I understand we are allowed a three minute nervous break down, but after than-business as usual. My husband had no idea what to do with me. Trying to be helpful he would say things like, “really, how hard can it be? Just get it done! I will help with Sayle.” But his help with Sayle was not help with Sayle, but WAS help with Sayle-if that makes sense. I still took him and picked him up at school, then ran back to Morehead City from our house. I was taking 4 trips a day back and forth from Morehead. And I had to leave my husband EXPLICIT directions as to what to do with Sayle regarding certain things. Not because he wouldn’t know to do them, but he wouldn’t do them correctly. (kinda like-be sure to tell the teacher where the money is)
I was also mad at myself. Why couldn’t I handle all of this easily, I handle everything else with ease? I have visions of being Wonder Woman, able to conquer the world, but the fact is, even Wonder Woman couldn’t do it all. Plus I didn’t have her whip, I probably would have been more effective with a whip…(mental note to self)
My husband had to come home from work early to do the night time routine with Sayle by himself, had to entertain Sayle the entire day when I worked on the weekends, and he had to be the rock who kept everything together while I worked and stressed about work. He was Wonder Woman! He actually took Sayle to school for me one morning, but had no idea which classroom was his. He wandered through the school until Sayle’s teacher grabbed my husband and said, “oh, Sayle’s mine!” Complete role reversal in our house and I think he found a new appreciation for exactly what I go through on a day-to-day basis without really taking everything I deal with fully on.
He was trying to be supportive and caring, he actually called me every couple hours to “check on me” and even commented on how he didn’t know how I balanced everything so well for so long. I have found that men do one thing at a time. I can talk on the phone, pack a diaper bag, while getting Sayle dressed all at the same time. If it was my husband, he would either be ONLY talking on the phone, or ONLY getting Sayle dressed, or only yelling to me about what to put in the diaper bag so he could pack it.
As for the accreditation, we were basically perfect. The surveyor spent a lot of time with me, reviewed my caseload, reviewed some of my records, spoke to my foster parents, agency workers, and clients-all gave me fantastic reviews. The owner of the company even called me to inform me that my surveyor sang my praises, a compliment I will cherish for a long time.
And I’m back over here at the shallow end after my two week drowning fest in the deep end and I feel SO much better. My three minute mental break down turned into two weeks of hell, but I’m back to business as normal. My husband is definitely glad to have Wonder Woman back as he can return to his “sippy cup” morning routine.
On a side note-I bet a man made the three minute nervous break down rule for working moms. I’m officially turning it into a two week rule. All working moms are allowed a two week nervous break down period in one year. Take the days as you wish, but please do not exceed 14 days. Oh yeah-and all of us should invest in a whip, Wonder Woman needs her whip, proven fact!
How do you handle work stress as a mom? How do you balance your career and your family?
Have you exceeded your three minute nervous breakdown allotment? How did you handle it?
Excuse me, ma’am, I am a Red Cross certified lifeguard and I notice you were flailing around in the deep end shouting for help…can I be of assistance? Or in other words, is there anything I can do to help? Yikes, poor you, sounds like you had your hands more than full (understatement of the year). And I’m so sorry about Foster (or was it Cardi?) oh my, please let me know if you need a hand or anything, I will be back in NC next week…again, condolences on the craziness and the doggy ):
Sarah, I was shouting for help in my own Brooke-ish ways. I assure you, the world has not seen me stressed like I was stressed. I have never in my life felt so overwhelmed. You know the kinds of kids I work with and the antics they pull, I swear it DIDN”T stop. I just wanted to do a Zack Morris “TIME OUT” and just freeze everyone while I collected my thoughts.
And my husband-he was like-WHOA-WAIT—this isn’t right, this isn’t supposed to happen, you aren’t allowed to freak out like this, only I do this. Sorry-Super Woman left the building for two weeks. It was MY turn! It was actually Cardi who we lost, Foster isn’t doing well at all. Wait till you see the next blog. Hope to see you next week, I do believe you owe Sayle a babysitting session!!! Hmmmmm.
I confess to standing back in awe of your energy levels many a time Brooke. You never pause for a breath in a normal day. So I hardly dare imagine what forces must have been pressing upon you to give you a mini breakdown. Congratulations on not only surviving your fortnight from hell but coming out of your accreditation with flying colours! Your husband is a typical man but sounds it to me like he was a great support to you when you really needed it. Go team Pollard! xx xx xx
[...] Find out what happens when the stress becomes too much, in part 2. [...]
I commend you on a job well done…and I’m glad your review went well. I completely understand what you are saying as your house and my house are nearly exact in organized chaos (that’s what I like to call it)! Are we seriously insane for doing the job we do and thinking we can manage a family? I was wondering that last night when I got home at 10pm from work and my kid was still awake!