A Book Every Parent Should Read
The author himself spent his childhood in an abusive and dangerous home.
You might have heard of the book called the Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. It was made famous when Oprah had him on his show, at least that’s when I heard about it. The same author has written a book along the same lines but meant particularly for children. It’s called Protecting the Gift, Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe.
I was at the library one day and happened to come across it, so it was a book that I read by chance, but I’m so glad that I did.
It’s a common sense book intermingled with real life stories as examples. Some of the stories are heartbreaking and have happened to unsuspecting children and parents that aren’t much different from you and me.
The author emphasizes the idea that we should always listen to our instincts. Every person has a built in alarm system inside them that will go off when trouble is near. As a culture we are taught to suppress those feelings for the sake of being polite. But sometimes being rude at the very beginning of a potentially harmful situation, could be the exact deterrent that predators flee from. Predators look for vulnerability, so it’s important to make it clear that you’re not weak.
The author also debunks common practices in our society that are supposed to keep our children safe. For example, we teach our kids not to talk to strangers. But he points out that it’s important that they DO talk to strangers. That’s how they will develop a natural skill of figuring out who’s good and who’s bad. Children have instincts too, and by teaching them to be afraid of strangers (like the cashier at the grocery store) we are sending mixed messages that can be confusing.
The book also goes into detail about how to hire the right childcare. Too often it’s the babysitter or the nanny that turns out to be the abuser, but when you hire the right person in the first place, that can be avoided. The book covers everything you could ever think of when it comes to childcare.
It’s a very matter of fact book and after reading it, it actually made me feel better about keeping my kids safe. It’s uncomfortable to think about bad situations, or to be in denial in thinking “that would never happen to me”, but once you’re armed with the knowledge needed to keep your kids safe, you’ve decreased your chances of becoming a victim. Or even worse, your child becoming a victim.
The concept that made the most impact on me was this: It’s proven that men, all over the world, in all cultures, at all ages are more violent than women. A sad fact, but something to think about.
Hi Mamta,
I have read this book, and I agree it’s very informative and well-written. I would much rather know what is out there and be prepared than live in ignorance pretending these things can’t happen to your kid! The talking to strangers bit really surprised me at first, but afterwards it does make sense. Good book review!