Breaking Out Of Mommy Jail
“We are going on a girls’ weekend in a couple of weeks so go ahead and tell your husband to be prepared because you ARE going.”
I love my close friends and I would do anything for them 99.9% of the time, but when that demand was issued to me, I wanted to use that .1% clause and refuse to go. I hadn’t even left Sayle over night, how could I leave him for an entire weekend? My friend knew exactly what I was thinking so she followed the demand up with; “you’re going to have to leave Sayle sometime, Brooke.” I hate when my friends are right.
I had been putting a girls’ weekend off and ignoring what my fellow mom friends advised for 19-months. I’m not sure why I was so anxious about leaving my child over night, it’s not like I had a problem leaving him for a few hours during the day. I suppose I feared that the minute I left town something would happen. In the back of my mind I knew I needed time to myself, which was the premise of the lectures I received from my friends.
I missed several opportunities to go out of town, including canceling a trip my husband and I were going to take with friends to Las Vegas, which was a huge deal as Las Vegas is my favorite place to be. I missed fun girls’ overnights, various out of town parties, and trips with my husband because I was afraid to leave mommy-jail.
After thinking everything through, I decided I deserved a weekend away and I was going to go. Realistically, I hadn’t been “without child” in my belly or on my hip since July 2008 when I found out I was pregnant! That’s over two years time served in mommy jail!
So I packed my bags, gave my husband the run down on how I do specific things, kissed them goodbye, and took off for a girls’ weekend.
I had a fantastic time! I was able to relax, sleep in, and just be. I was on my schedule and could do things the way I wanted to rather than scheduling things around naps, food, and toddler moods. I was able to shop without chasing my toddler through the store or pushing and stroller, and I was able to try on clothes without worrying about Sayle crawling under the dressing room door. And FINALLY, I was able to drink cosmopolitans to my heart’s content (which is about three drinks)!! Oh, how it was wonderful to escape mommy jail!
Even though I knew I was out of mommy jail, I missed Sayle desperately. If I heard a child scream, cough, sneeze, throw a tantrum, my immediate reaction was to look to make sure it wasn’t Sayle. I watched a toddler about Sayle’s age “explore” Starbucks as his mother tried to run some intervention and I felt sad. My motherly instincts and training were not turned off even though I was hours from my child, but I don’t think that will ever change.
In retrospect, I wish I had gone sooner as I hadn’t realized how uptight I really was. I had forgotten myself while adapting to my new role as a mom and my friends were right to drag me off for the weekend. When the weekend was over, I could not burn the road up fast enough to get home to shower Sayle with hugs and kisses.
How long did you wait before you spent the night away from your child? Was it difficult for you to be away?
It is so good to know that even though you have a child YOUR life doesn’t have to end. I have seen so many times that people forget that they are adults and have friends when they become parents. I understand and feel that your role as a parent should always be first and foremost, but you have to give yourself opportunities to “play”, hang-out with friends, and just get away. To be someone other than “Mommy or Daddy”…”to just be” (as you so eloquently stated!) Part of your responsibility as a parent is to stay sane!! Girl’s Weekends = Sanity! Have Fun!!
I am doing a girls weekend in May and that will be hard I am sure! I spent the first night away when the babies were 9 months old when Ben and I went to a wedding. We couldn’t wait to get back to them. Other than that the only night away was when I was in the hospital with a broken wrist.
Thanks, Lisa! I agree, we do have to give ourselves “fun time” even though our role as a parent comes first! Like I said, I wish I had done it sooner!
Kari, I hope you have a great time! You have spent plenty of time in “mommy jail,” you definitely deserve a vacation. You will miss the babies desperately, but I promise you will feel so much better when you get back! I had no idea how uptight I was, and once I got past the fact that I was away, I was actually able to unwind. I’m sure you will have a great time!
PS-the night away for your wrist was a forced night away, I’m sure you would have rather been home! HA!