Two Year Olds: Terrible or Terrific?
You have to take your child to daycare and then get to work—and you’re late. Your 2-year-old suddenly decides she doesn’t want to go. The more you try to put her into her car seat, the more she fights and screams. In a few moments she’s crying and you’re frustrated.
These tantrums, as well as other unwanted behaviors, seem to be happening a lot lately. Uh-oh—has she hit the “terrible twos?”
Remember that this phase of a child’s life also can be the “terrific twos.” Watching your children grow and learn is an enriching experience. They’re finding out about the world. Their language is expanding. They may start to say their ABCs or 123s—they may even say, “I love you.”
But it’s also normal for children to begin voicing their opinions and saying “no,” and some children will be very extreme, says James MacIntyre, M.D., spokesman for the American Academy of Child Psychiatry.
This stage shouldn’t last very long, but be prepared. “Give yourself lots of extra time to deal with problems,” says psychologist Suzanne B. Johnson, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Florida.
Tantrums
When children throw a tantrum, it may look like they have lost control of their bodies and will never stop kicking and screaming. Walk away or put them in “time out”—two minutes or less for 2-year-olds—until they’re calm. If it happens in a public place, pick them up, hold them close and rock them. Talk soothingly—say, “I love you, it’s okay,” or “Take a deep breath: In, out, in, out”—until they are calm, Dr. Johnson says. Try to find a restroom for privacy until the crying stops.
It’s possible the tantrum isn’t over, especially if you told them “no” to a certain item in the store, and they spot it again.
Don’t give in, says Dr. Johnson, but once in a while a compromise is okay: If they wanted an expensive toy, think about something small instead.
