The Lowes Are Feeling Low
Well, it’s official. I am now a part of the deployed spouses club. Not necessarily the type of club I’ve ever dreamed about being in, but nonetheless, still in it. It’s only been a few days and it already feels like weeks. I stare at my calendar flipping the pages to the return date and it just seems so FAAAAAR away.
The kids seem to be doing just fine, thankfully. I think they must be WAY stronger than I am. The two big kids have emotional breakdowns every now and then over silly things that translate into, “I miss dad”, but other than that, they’ve been great. Miah, my middle child, hasn’t shown any emotion whatsoever. He completely took me by surprise because he’s my MOST emotional kid by FAR.
Isaak has actually been the worst with the new changes. Granted, he’s been without his dad for longer than a few days, but this time is different. Call me crazy, but I really think he senses that this time will be for much longer. I tried my best to prepare him before Austin left, telling him that daddy was going bye bye for a LONG time so I think that’s why he seems to be reacting in a much different way. He’s been crying and whining over everything and he’s my LEAST whiny child. Nothing seems to satisfy him when he’s crying and it’s frustrating yet painful for me all at once. I want him to understand so he can have peace of mind, but he just won’t.
Thankfully, I bought the recordable books Kelly Mulder suggested from hallmark and he requests to listen to his book every morning when he wakes up and every evening just before bed. I also bought one of the Christmas ones to save for Christmas Eve and surprise the kids. I can’t wait to give it to them!
The hardest part for me is obviously being alone, without my best friend, but I’m also sad every time I see the kids say or do something and normally I would just pick up the phone to tell Austin. It’s the little things that maybe I never noticed before, like tiny toes that dangle out of the stroller, all precious in their tiny flip flops.
Ughh. Hurry home Austin! We miss you!! In the meantime, I’m taking LOTS of pictures for you!
What do you fill your days with to keep your mind off of sad things?
My heart goes out to you and your family!! Are you guys still planning to go back to Texas? That will hopefully keep your mind off things and help time go by faster?
yea we leave in about 2 weeks!
I spent my days in actiove distraction during deployment. Go out with friends, help someone out, go to the gym, write EVERYTHING the kids do on a blog with pictures, privately write in a journal your loneliness and thoughts. It’s ironic how absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. Fonder of what we have and fonder of what is temporarily missing. I know that I kept a journal of gratitude and that my attitude was better during deployment. For example, my biggest blessing was being able to see the kids do all those things, I cannot even begin to imagine having to leave my children for as long as our husbands do and missing out, for that one point alone I was able to make it successfully and happily (for the most part) through deployment. Although my boyfriends Ben & Jerry helped out too! (ice cream for those whose minds thought something bad;))