Revenge of the Fake-Dad

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Picture this:

The kids are at school and your Lover has been at work all day.  You’ve spent the entire day chasing around a VERY (and that adjective doesn’t do him justice) active 20 month old as well as feed, change, hold and put to sleep (repeat this process about 3 or 4 times) 4 month old. 

You haven’t had time to change your clothes, to fix your hair, to put on makeup, heck, you can’t even remember if you’ve brushed your teeth that day. 

Finally, it’s 5:00 and with the 3 bigger kids you have home, the house is quickly becoming hit by human tornados.  Not only did you NOT have enough time to fold all the laundry that now sits comfortably on your couch, but the chores you DID have time to do, are becoming UNdone by the crazies that are, your children. 

When your Lover finally walks in the door, he’s greeted with 5 rowdy heathens, a wife that looks like she just got hit by a train and then dragged behind it for several miles, and a FILTHY house. 

Now you tell me, what kind of reaction do you expect from your Lover?  Well, in my case, my Lover starts going crazy washing dishes, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming, cleaning bathrooms, and picking up toys all while yelling at the kids to clean their rooms and do their chores.  He doesn’t say a single word to me, he doesn’t have to.  I know what he’s thinking.  I sit there, holding the baby feeling like the crappiest wife on the face of the planet because I can’t seem to get all my commitments as a wife, mother, and blogger done.  Does this sound familiar?

After talking with friends and finding out I’m not the only wife who goes through this on a regular basis, we decided to name this scenario, “revenge of the fake-dad”.   Remember those times as a kid where you had definitely made a POOR choice and your dad wouldn’t really get mad at you, but he’d make you feel horrible just by his facial expressions and comments?  Ugh, I hate that feeling.  And for some reason, this chapter of my life seems to be FULL of fake-dad moments. 

Speaking of which, fake-dad is on the prowl right NOW vacuuming while I sit here and type away in blog land.  I better go!!!