Disciplining Baby — “Not For Nora,” (Part 2)
My baby is getting bigger! Photo taken by Carrie Belt
Read Part 1, then continue reading to take a peek at how I try to avoid using the word “No” in my daily interactions with Nora:
When Nora is playing with the VCR and trying to push buttons instead of screaming, “NO!” I say, “Not for Nora.” I change the sentence structure around so instead of risking having her internalize the “no” to mean she’s a bad child the sentence structure puts the negative on the object or the choice. The object is just not for her. I then explain, “These buttons are not for Nora. If Nora wants to push buttons she can push these buttons” as I re-direct her and show her other buttons she can push.
When Nora gets older if she still goes back to the buttons I will say, “The VCR buttons are not for Nora. Nora can push the buttons on the play oven or Nora can push the buttons on her car (giving only 2 choices so as not to overwhelm her). If Nora chooses to continue pushing the VCR buttons she is choosing a time out.” If Nora pushes the VCR buttons again I will give Nora a time out and will explain, “These buttons are not for Nora. Since Nora chose to push the VCR buttons, Nora is going to have a time out.”
I’m always making sure to keep my sentence structure like that, “No food throwing!” becomes, “food is not for throwing.” “No jumping on the bed!” becomes, “beds are not for jumping.” If you want, you can give me a scenario your child/children does frequently and I can switch the words around for you.
It sounds strange I know but give it a try for a while. I think you might find it easier to use with practice. It has gotten a lot easier for me!
What discipline methods do you use in your home?
Kelly you make a great point about changing the sentence structure and using positives instead of negatives. I had no idea how the word no could affect little ones, thanks for the tip!
Great videos this week, by the way (:
Thanks Sarah!