My Relationship with My Daughter
I think being a mother to a daughter is such a great and scary responsibility. There is so much I feel I must teach her! I don’t wa
nt to be always ‘talking and lecturing’ to her but I want her to watch the way I live my life and learn that way. I want her to see the way I take care of myself, the way I treat others, the great faith I have in God and in prayer, the way I fulfill my personal dreams, the way I embrace my creativity, the way I choose to be unique and true to myself and the way other’s feel when they are around me.
Boy that makes my stomach flip just thinking of all those things because I have a lot to improve upon. My actions will always be her biggest teacher! This is a quote I found on one of my favorite blogs and it speaks to my heart.
“I want to be a continual loving, accepting presence in my daughter’s life. I want her to know full well, always, that she is not here on this earth for me. I want to accept her dreams, recognize her special gifts. Enjoy the differences. Refrain from any type of unhealthy comparison.”
I have a favorite book entitled, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. In this book, he gives five steps to help with ‘emotion coaching.’
- Be aware of a child’s emotions.
-Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching.
-Listen empathetically and validate a child’s feelings.
-Label emotions in words a child can understand.
-Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation.
I want to teach my daughter to ‘feel’ and not just sweep her emotions under the carpet. I want to teach her to express her feelings and stand up for her convictions, I want her to have self esteem to know that she is original and beautiful and special just the way God made her! Most of all, I want her to be happy and I want to do all I can do to be that role-model in her life to teach her to be just that way!!!
