Ode to Formula Barf
- One summer afternoon I was holding my friend’s son and he spit up on me. I usually have no issue with baby spit, but after catching onewhiff of semi-digested formula I immediately returned the baby and bolted to the bathroom to gag and throw my guts up.
Sayle's incident was worse than this. Picture courtesy Fugly.com
Formula barf to me is like kryptonite to Superman, it is by far the nastiest smell on the planet and has been my nemesis ever since.
When I had to switch Sayle to formula, I realized I was destined to meet with Formula Barf again. Formula Barf was gunning for me ever since our initial meeting so I took precautions to keep Formula Barf away. In the end, my efforts were a futile attempt to avoid an inevitable meeting.
One evening I noticed that Sayle was acting odd; he was sluggish and not eating normally. He didn’t have a fever so I dismissed these symptoms as being in the car too much; he did accompany me to Greenville and New Bern that day. When I put him down to go to sleep he became exceptionally fussy so I decided to rock him for a bit. I picked him up, cuddled him close, and spoke sweet mommy words about how cute and perfect he was.
He looked up at me with his big blue eyes as if to say “I’m so sorry Mom” and proceeded to projectile Formula Barf in three heavy spurts; in my face, down my neck and shirt, in my hair, in the crib, across the room, and probably in the neighbor’s yard. I wish I had it on video; the scenario was straight out of a movie.
I think I froze for a moment in an attempt to process what just happened, not that there was much to process. Sayle was drenched in Formula Barf and I was drenched in Formula Barf.
I had to remind myself not to freak out. If I reacted crazy that would alarm Sayle. Then my jaw started to lock and salivate. I was not only smelling Formula Barf, but I could taste Formula Barf…Formula Barf was in my mouth!
I had to act fast-I darted down the hall and yelled in a “calm” fashion “EMERGENCY!! EMERGENCY!!”
Aaron jumped out of the shower and grabbed Sayle just in time for me to gag myself to death and pull my Formula Barf drenched shirt off.
I have witnessed some impressive hurling in my college days but never in my life have I seen that type of projectile vomit! Poor Sayle put the girl in The Exorcist to shame.
I have been told you have to earn your mommy badges. I officially have the Formula Barf badge.
The official badge of honor
The official badge of honor
Courtesy of: The buttongenerator
What is the most disgusting thing that has happened to you since you have been a mom?
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