Child Abuse Vigil Draws Attention to Community Problem – Part 1
NOTE: This is the first part of a two-part series on the topic of child abuse
“It shouldn’t hurt to be a child” was the key message at the Fifth Annual Child Abuse Vigil at Onslow Memorial Hospital held in October.
Onslow County has historically ranked as one of the highest in child-abuse rates in the state. Officials say that’s primarily because the county is also the youngest county in North Carolina, with a median age of 23.
There were a total of 388 reported cases of child abuse in Onslow County in 2008. These numbers have declined drastically from the thousands since Onslow Memorial Hospital started hosting the Vigil.
As the Maternal/Child Case Manager for Onslow Memorial Hospital, I was asked to speak at the vigil and share my views on parenting and how I help educate parents about this important issue.
Bill Cosby said it well: “Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: Each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.”
Parenting . . . My, how some things have changed. The other day I found myself sending a text message from downstairs to my 15-year-old son to come to dinner. When I was his age, dinner was ready when mom hollered your name in a low octave that clearly meant – come now or else!
My 9-year-old daughter asked me for her own laptop for Christmas. She intellectually pointed out that mine was infested with viruses and runs way too slow. When I was her age, I earned my first diary with a lock and discovered that Pop Rocks mixed with soda made your nostrils feel strange.
My 7-year-old son, the appointed innocent family comedian, leaves me notes dictating the items he would like me to pack for his lunch, still wears the clothes I lay out for him in the morning, and publicly asks questions like: “Mom, does Santa wear a bra?” When I was his age, I rode a bike with no helmet, faithfully bathed my pet rock, and informed my younger sister she was adopted since she had blonde hair. Yes – she believed me, and yes – I was in trouble.
Times have changed! Parenting is the real reality show, and these are the realities of our everyday lives. But not all our moments are comical or easy. There are real struggles; real challenges that place parenting as a contender for the TV show “The World’s Dirtiest Jobs.”
I think of my children each moment of every day. As parents, we may question whether we do our best to show our children we love them and that they are first in all we do, even when we’re away. We often wonder if, at the end of our day, we have wasted too much time worrying about who we may have let down at work instead of really listening to our children, kissing a forehead goodnight, or spending time to admire their 100th drawing of a beaver with wings. I tell myself a million times – I don’t want to miss a moment and then wonder how I’ve missed so many already.
So let’s put this in perspective. We are moms and dads — proud titles we were assigned at the time of our child’s birth and about which we have learned of the significance through the years. Some of us are new, some experienced, and some trying to retire and just enjoy being grandparents. We will never know all there is to know about parenting, but each of us knows something. If we pull all these somethings together – we just may have everything we need as a community to support one another.
