The Purple Crying Phase Is No Joke!!
During the hospital discharge process the nurses had me watch a video about purple crying and shaken baby syndrome. I never heard of purple crying and there was no way I was ever going to shake my baby. While I tried to dismiss this video the nurses were insistent I watch it. The purple crying period can start at around two weeks of age, peaks at two months, and the infant cries for no reason; they are not wet, ill, or hungry. They are difficult to near impossible to soothe and the crying comes unpredictably.
Just as the video stated, Sayle started this phase around three weeks old and he continued until he was about 5 weeks old. He cried so hard and it often took me around 30 minutes to get him settled. I walked countless laps around my house with him praying that he would just stop screaming.
I found that turning Itunes on and singing to him as I walked him worked well. His favorite was The Cure’s Just Like Heaven and Maroon 5’s It’s Not Over Tonight. I walked, danced and sang to him through my house trying desperately to soothe him.
Sometimes when he fell asleep I would attempt to put him down, which woke him up immediately and we would have to repeat the cycle.
I was speaking quietly on the phone to a friend and she commented that it sounded like I was afraid of waking him. I realized I was afraid of waking him. I work with at-risk teenagers. I have been cursed out and called every creative name in the book. I have chased 6’2, 300 lb boys down a dirt road while they were angry. I have removed one of my kids from a crowd of drug dealers he was hanging out with on a corner in Goldsboro.
I am not afraid of kids, yet I was tip-toeing around my 4 week old?
Purple crying is real and all moms get frustrated. A friend told me about putting her daughter in her crib while she stepped outside for a moment to collect herself and letting the baby scream. Another friend told me her daughter screamed so long and so hard she felt like putting her in her car seat on her deck so she didn’t have to hear her scream anymore. Frustration happens to all of us. Please remember it is a phase and it WILL pass. If you get frustrated put the baby somewhere safe and step outside. Call your friends for back up. Veteran moms-call your friends with new babies to check in on them. Tell them about purple crying before the delivery, prepare them for this phase.
Please do not take your frustration out on the baby-they cannot help it. The crying is not a reflection of you or your parenting skills and I promise, as hard as it is to believe, the baby will eventually smile, laugh, and play.
For more info on purple crying go to: http://www.purplecrying.info/
I really wish I knew about purple crying while this was keeping me up anywhere from 11pm-2am. It was awful and I was one of those moms that did not want to be annoying to the pediatrian always calling to ask those first mom questions but I immediately called the doctor to schedule an appointment. They said it wasn’t colic, that she might want to be fed or try to add a little cereal to her bottle so she can feel full. I felt horrible like I wasn’t doing enough to make her happy or that it was me. It was the most frustrating thing I ever felt and at that time I told myself to take a mental snapshot if I ever said I wanted to have another kid because of these “nighttime moments.” I tried everything to the feeding, walking around, singing and just when I thought finally something worked she would go back to screaming crying. I myself had to just put her down in her room and walk outside where I couldn’t hear her. But then I thought what if she is crying because she rolled over and something is wrong I don’t want her to suffocate herself so envitably I would pick her back up again. Thankfully this only last 2 months but it was the longest 2 months of my life. I was amazed that her body knew exactally what time to start and end anywhere between those 4 hours. Although horrible it is something that I will never forget and can share so many funny stories (funny now) that I tried to do to make her stop crying. By songs I sang, dressing up, roller skating in the house, cart wheels, jumping on the bed etc.
Ah Vanessa-I wish I could have told you about purple crying when you needed it! I would however, have loved to see you roller skating in the house!
I believe that the purple crying phase is like mommy boot camp to get you ready for whats to come. If you can get through purple crying other things seem so trivial.
I am so thankful I watched that video because it prepared me for this phase so when it came I knew what it was. It didn’t make the screaming/crying more tolerable, but it gave me an understanding of what was happening.
Another important point is that not all babies go through this so Vanessa, don’t let the phase discourage you from having another. Next time around you will just be able to identify what is going on and maybe the knowing will help you cope.
And if that doesn’t work-keep your skates close by!
The things we do for our kids!
I didn’t even know what purple crying was until you mentioned it! After my delivery the nurse gave me a video to watch when I got home and had time, but as all new moms quickly discover, “having time” is not an option with a newborn. I really wish I had watched the video or read this blog back then so I would have known purple crying was normal. I was so worried about my baby being in pain, or if I was doing something wrong, or if I should take him to the ER, and so on. All moms need to be educated on this! I have more than a few gray hairs as a result of it (:
Aw Sarah, I am so sorry that you didn’t get the information you neeed about Purple Crying before you left the hospital. I totally agree with you, while handing a video out is great, “watch when you have the time” is a complete oxymoron for a new mom.
I understand the checkout process at the hospital is very quick and overwhelming, the nurses really need to stress the importance of the information.
I am extremely grateful the nurses were so insistent that I watch it, otherwise I might have lost my mind when Sayle started with his phase.
I also think that moms who have already experienced the purple crying phase need to reach out to new moms to assure them they aren’t doing anything wrong-it is just a phase!