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Last week I talked about how Isaac was rolling around like crazy and being really mobile, and how I knew I couldn’t put him on the bed anymore because he would probably fall off, etc… Read the post here: .http://cuddlebugs.onslow.org/cuddlebugs/2010/03/like-a-rolling-stone/

Well I’m sure you have figured out by now that I have officially become a member of the club!

Here is what happened…I was laying on the bed with Isaac playing with some toys, and Marissa came in with a tricky homework question.  Fifth grade pre-algebra is no joke, so I was trying to figure it out with her, and I curled by body around Isaac so he couldn’t roll anywhere (or so I thought) and made a quick retaining wall of big and kind of heavy toys on the other side.  Of course the second I turned my head I heard this sickening thud followed by a scared baby wail.  He had actually done several warp speed rolls and busted through the wall of safety and onto the floor.

Wow, I was so terrified when it happened, and then thankful once I realized he was fine, and finally embarrassed and guilty.  I didn’t want to admit that I had let this happen, because even though I know I am not a perfect mom, I think I do a pretty good job of keeping my baby safe and sound usually.  I can’t believe I took my eyes off him!  Who does that? 

Interestingly, once I got up the nerve to vent about this to someone, they brushed it off with a laugh and a knowing look, saying that this has happened to quite a few moms.  What?  So I asked a few more moms and found that no, this is not such an uncommon occurrence and it does not make me a bad mom!  To be specific, every single person I spoke with about this in the last week told me a similar story of when their child fell, rolled, crawled off the bed, couch, chair, etc.

(((HUGE sigh of relief)))

Are you a member?  Tell us your story!

As Sayle’s first birthday comes closer by the day, I cannot help but look at his first year and wonder where the time has gone.  I honestly feel like it was just yesterday that I was waddling around my house, pregnant and attempting every possible way to get my water to break. 

Ever since I found out I was pregnant with Sayle, I have been in heaven.  As I have said before, I do not think I could possibly accomplish anything greater than having a child and I am truly a proud mother.  I am also an extremely grateful mother.  I’m sure all mothers are grateful in some respects, but I am sincerely grateful for being given the opportunity to be Sayle’s mother.

At one point, my husband and I thought we would not be able to have children as we found it difficult to get pregnant.  We thought we were never going to experience sleepless nights, formula barf, poopy diapers, and all the fun things that parents get to do.  My husband and I had to confront the nightmare of the possibility we were never going to have children, and that is not a place I would ever wish on anyone as it is a dark place.  This is a nightmare that most people never even have to fathom because getting pregnant is easy-right?  People do it all the time without even trying!    

In hindsight, we became pregnant easily–not as easily as most people do, but easily enough.  What felt like my own personal hell, was really a walk in the park compared to what some couples go through in order to have a child.  But since I experienced this nightmare first hand, being a mother is just that much more valuable to me.  I embrace sleepless nights.  I will gladly change millions of dirty diapers.  If Sayle barfed in my face every week, I would smile straight through it.  Most things that are considered an inconvenience or the “ugly side” of being a parent, doesn’t even phase me.  You see, the “bad side” of being a parent does not even compare to not being a parent at all.

I am grateful that I had to go through what I had to go through in order to be a mother because I do not take one second for granted.  I know that there are women out there that would do almost anything to have a child and to trade places with me or you.  Getting caught up in the trivial day-to-day issues that moms have to deal with is so easy.  We really do carry the weight of the world on our shoulders some days, but that is our job, that is what we signed up for, and it truly is a blessing. 

As a mother, I encourage all of you to recognize the beauty of being a mother and to not take one second for granted.  I would also like to recognize the women who are still on their quest to become mothers and who have to take the difficult road to the end of their journey.  Regardless of how a child came to you, a mother’s heart is a full one.     

Has anyone had a run-in with the crazy playground moms?

I took Isaac, Marissa, and one of her friends to a local park last week to enjoy the nice weather and have fun running around.  Little did we know that we would witness some serious insanity there.

Soon after we arrived I noticed several suspicious things, the first being moms who were not even watching their children.  Now I know I cannot judge, after all I let my baby roll off the bed recently, but this was pretty extreme.

I’m talking about moms were on the phone or chatting with each other at the other end of the park as very young toddlers were climbing up twisty slides backwards and getting bowled over by bigger kids.  I even saw some older boy throw sand at a younger one and get it all in his eyes, so of course I nicely asked him to stop because sand in the eyes is not cool!  As soon as the words were out of my mouth his mom comes racing over and asking what was I doing to her son.  Maybe she was paying attention after all?  Now I do not do confrontations, in fact I avoid them as much as possible, so I smiled and simply explained what her little angel was up to, to which she told me it was none of my (insert expletive of choice) business and stomped away.

Don’t judge, Sarah, don’t you do it! Just walk away and be the bigger person said the little angel on my shoulder, while the little one with horns and a pitchfork said What a lunatic!  Her kid will end up in jail by age 12 because she is a bad parent! You should warn her, in a nice Christian way of course!

Hey you guys — know I walked away (:

The second thing I noticed was the opposite of no supervision — too much supervision.  These moms were all over their kids, holding them as they tried to climb, going down the slides with them, not letting them on anything they could possibly hurt themselves on, which was pretty much everything there.

These kids weren’t given the chance to do anything at all by themselves, which kind of defeated the whole idea of a playground.  Let them get dirty, fall down, make friends, discover things, and be kids!

Ha! Easy for me to say until Isaac is on the monkey bars telling me to let go of him but I just can’t do it, not quite yet/EVER.

Beware the crazy playground moms!  I might even be one of them!

My baby is getting bigger! Photo taken by Carrie Belt

Read Part 1, then continue reading to take a peek at how I try to avoid using the word “No” in my daily interactions with Nora:

When Nora is playing with the VCR and trying to push buttons instead of screaming, “NO!” I say, “Not for Nora.” I change the sentence structure around so instead of risking having her internalize the “no” to mean she’s a bad child the sentence structure puts the negative on the object or the choice. The object is just not for her. I then explain, “These buttons are not for Nora. If Nora wants to push buttons she can push these buttons” as I re-direct her and show her other buttons she can push.

When Nora gets older if she still goes back to the buttons I will say, “The VCR buttons are not for Nora. Nora can push the buttons on the play oven or Nora can push the buttons on her car (giving only 2 choices so as not to overwhelm her). If Nora chooses to continue pushing the VCR buttons she is choosing a time out.” If Nora pushes the VCR buttons again I will give Nora a time out and will explain, “These buttons are not for Nora. Since Nora chose to push the VCR buttons, Nora is going to have a time out.”

I’m always making sure to keep my sentence structure like that, “No food throwing!” becomes, “food is not for throwing.” “No jumping on the bed!” becomes, “beds are not for jumping.” If you want, you can give me a scenario your child/children does frequently and I can switch the words around for you.

It sounds strange I know but give it a try for a while. I think you might find it easier to use with practice. It has gotten a lot easier for me!

What discipline methods do you use in your home?

In just a few days, Isaak will be 21 months.  He is long past the days of living off of a bottle and now has quite the massive appetite.  I usually stay so busy throughout the day with Gus’ schedule that I sometimes overlook the fact that I need to actually prepare something for Isaak to eat, but don’t worry, he doesn’t let me completely forget!  With his newly obtained vocabulary, he’ll run right up to me and repeat, “Eat!  Eat!  Eat!” over and over again until I get the point. 

I usually end up giving him whatever is the quickest, easiest, and will make the least mess.  I’m all about convenience with babies that are 16 months apart!  Isaak loves hotdogs (even cold ones, ewwww!), cheese, bread, crackers, fruit, plain noodles and nuts so his lunch will usually consist of two or three of these items.  Every now and then, I try to mix it up and give him a fancy bowl of macaroni and cheese but again, time is the issue at hand so that’s a big fun treat for him when I do! 

Lately I feel like I’m in a big rut when it comes to preparing a healthy but yummy meal for him.  I wish I had more ideas on what to give him that he’ll enjoy as well as being a quick and easy meal to make.  I get most of my new ideas from other mothers so I’d love to hear any feedback on what you feed YOUR toddler each day.  Maybe together we can mix things up and add a little “spice” to our kiddos’ diets!

Adult seat belts are not for Nora (not yet anyway)

I didn’t know it then but life with an immobile infant was easy. Well, maybe I shouldn’t say easy; I should say easier.

Since Nora has become more active she has been getting into anything and everything possible. As a result Garrett and I had to baby proof and I have had to rearrange many shelves in our house. I am also having to struggle with a new aspect of parenting; discipline.

Long before Garrett and I had children we talked about how we wanted to raise our children. I wanted to incorporate some of the techniques for disciplining I learned in grad school (for those of you who don’t know; I have a graduate degree in community counseling). I was so gung-ho about these techniques I borrowed some training videos and watched them numerous times. I even forced Garrett to watch them with me.

Grad school feels like ages ago and I’ve honestly forgotten the name of the technique, but I haven’t forgotten the important part; how to use it!

It involves switching the sentence structure around so that the negative is on the behavior and not on the child. It also involves setting limits and giving alternatives. It also eliminates that dreaded word, “no,” that so many parents (like me and Garrett) try to avoid.

A former co-worker of mine used it for all of her children and swears by it. She told me a story about one time when her son got mad at her and said, “You just want me to grow up and make my own choices!” This is so true. As parents all we can do is hope we teach our children well enough for them to make their own (good) choices when they get older.

Do you try to avoid using the word No?